There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
