I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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