And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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