Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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