I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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