I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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