That's intense
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
