Already got asked if we're dating
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
When did we convert life to cartoon?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
