operation harelip BJ is a go
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
