the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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