Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
