the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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