it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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