Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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