My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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