this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
