Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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