does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You were trust falling into bushes
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
