it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had one of those small greek statue penises
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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