What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
