I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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