oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
