I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
