i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
