That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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