i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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