It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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