I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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