so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
