i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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