Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i barfeds in our rink
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
