I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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