Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
