I think my fart just growled at me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
