I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
