I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We left the knife in your bed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize