If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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