Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Randomize
