Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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