I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
