I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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