I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My cat gives me a boner
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
