I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
