barbara walters just said penis...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
