If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize