I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
