you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
