She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
