If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
