I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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