fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
