roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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