I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
