I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
