Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
