We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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