I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
