yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
